Anger

Anger is a normal and useful emotion. It’s helpful to recognise and understand when things are not fair or right. It’s OK to get angry at times but it is important to manage and show your anger in an appropriate way.

Anger can become a problem if you feel out of control or aggressive. It can interfere with your behaviour, feelings and relationships.

What anger feels like

Being angry can make you feel like reacting to every little thing that happens. Anger can make you feel like:

●      Shouting

●      Screaming

●      Breaking things

●      Hitting other people

These are not helpful ways to manage your anger as you can end up hurting yourself or others.

Signs that you’re feeling angry

Use these signs to notice you’re getting angry before you’re out of control. You may notice:

●      Feeling tense or hot

●      Your heart beating fast

●      Your breathing becoming faster and harder 

●      You feel sweaty and shaky

●      Your fists and jaws clenching

●      Your head hurting or feeling dizzy

●      You want to cry or shout

●      You can’t see things clearly

Not everyone shows all of these signs and you may experience others. It’s important to write them down so you can recognise when your anger is building up, and you can work on feeling calm.

Learn more about the Cycle of Anger.

Discover what makes you angry

Identifying when you’re angry is important to help you understand the source of your anger.

Keep a journal to understand triggers and track any changes to your behaviour. Make a note of:

●      When you get angry

●      What made you angry

●      What you did afterwards

Another part of understanding why we get angry is to understand why it can be hard to manage difficult feelings like anger and why it feels like you might ‘flip your lid’

Tips to help you with anger

Some techniques that might help you feel calm:

●      Practise deep breathing exercises by breathing slowly and deeply. This will help your body to relax. 

●      Count back from 20 to distract you from the anger, so you can respond later, when your mind is calmer.

●      Think of a safe and relaxing place or person such as a beach, a park or think of someone who makes you feel safe.

●      Try doing something that will help calm you. For example, listen to music, draw, complete a jigsaw or do something else that makes you feel safe.

●      Practise the five senses grounding technique. This grounding technique can help to distract you from the negative thoughts that come with anger by bringing your attention to the present moment. This can help you to calm down and stop your anger from getting bigger.

●      Walk away or leave the situation you’re in safely. This isn’t always possible but if you can, give yourself time to think and then react in a way that is appropriate.

I am Stronger than Anger

Try this exercise or watch the video below to help you cope with anger.