Suicidal Thoughts

If your child is feeling suicidal there is support available to help keep them safe. If you think they are in immediate risk , contact emergency services by calling 999, or take them to A&E.

Signs that your child might be feeling suicidal

Everyone feels sad or low from time to time. These emotions are normal and are a part of being human.

If your child has been struggling with these emotions for a while or the feelings are very intense, they may experience suicidal thoughts. Suicidal thoughts can feel like an escape from their emotions and the problems they’re facing.

It can be hard to recognise that your child is feeling overwhelmed. There are signs that may help identify if your child is struggling with suicidal thoughts or overwhelming feelings. They may be:

●      Losing interest in things they previously enjoyed.

●      Becoming withdrawn from others.

●      Always thinking or talking about death.

●      Feeling low, especially over a long time.

●      Struggling with sleep, for example, sleeping too much or not enough.

●      Struggling with eating.

●      Self-harming.

Your child may not be showing all these signs. Displaying these signs may not mean your child is suicidal.

There are things you can do to support your child:

Talk to your child

If you think your child is experiencing suicidal thoughts, you may wonder what to say or do.

The best way to support your child is to talk to them about how they’re feeling. Ask them directly if they’re experiencing suicidal thoughts. Although this may seem challenging to you, it lets the child know that they can talk to you.

If a child doesn’t want to talk, or doesn’t feel able to, it’s important that you let them know that they can talk to you when they are ready.

Suggest that they use different forms of communication if this makes them feel more comfortable. They could text or write things down, if it’s difficult for them to tell you.

Listen

It can be very difficult for your child to open up and talk about their suicidal thoughts. Listen with an open mind and remain non-judgemental. 

Thank them for sharing their thoughts and feelings with you

This lets your child know that they can talk to you about their thoughts now, and in the future. It will also reassure them that it’s okay to talk about these feelings. This is especially true if they’re afraid of how you might react or what you might say.

Clarify

To make sure you fully understand what your child is telling you, use their words to repeat what they have told you. Allow them to correct you if you have misunderstood.

The extent of suicidal thoughts can vary. Because of this, it’s important to establish whether they intend to act on the suicidal thoughts. If they do, urgently seek professional support.

Empathise

It is important not to downplay their emotions or what they’re experiencing. Instead, work with them to see if you can find anything that might be contributing to how they are feeling. Ask them if there’s anything you can help them with.

Seek professional advice

After you’ve talked to your child, contact a professional such as a GP to arrange support.

Your GP can help put you and your child in contact with local services, to help them access mental health support. The GP can also provide you with important information on how you can keep your child safe.

If you think your child is having a mental health emergency, see urgent support for further information.

Create a safety plan

To help protect your child, work with them to create a plan to keep them safe. See a guide on how to create a safety plan.

Encourage your child to contact a helpline

Experiencing suicidal thoughts can be a lonely experience. It may be easier for your child to talk to someone outside the family.

Helplines are a safe, non-judgemental space for your child to explore their feelings. Your child can get in touch with them in different ways, such as by phone call, text, instant messaging or email. For a list of helpline numbers, see urgent support.

Parent Talk: Find further information and guidance, see my child is having suicidal thoughts - Support for Parents from Action For Children. For advice on your specific issue, speak to one of our parenting coaches.