Self-harm
Self-harm is when someone hurts themselves on purpose to relieve feelings of distress. Children might self-harm when facing overwhelming emotions or difficult situations.
Self-harm can take different forms:
● Causing physical harm to the body.
● Using drugs or alcohol to deal with emotions.
● Controlling eating, by not eating enough, too much, or forcing themselves to vomit.
● Spending too much time in activities which may be addictive, for example gaming.
● Getting into risky situations where the child might get hurt, like getting into fights or engaging in risky sexual behaviours.
Self-harm can provide short-term relief. As the relief is only temporary, it can lead to a cycle of self-harm every time they’re struggling.
Here are some tips you can use to help support your child:
Take a caring and non-judgmental approach
As a parent, knowing that your child is self-harming can be worrying. Try to stay calm and listen to how they are feeling.
Suggest coping strategies
It can be hard for your child to stop self-harming when they don’t have any other coping strategies. There are some techniques that your child can use when they feel the urge to self-harm building. Find out more about strategies for dealing with self-harm on the Parent Talk website.
You can also support your child to use the App: Calm Harm. Calm Harm provides coping strategies that your child can access and use when they are struggling with urges to self-harm.
Prioritise one-to-one time
Children can find it hard to talk about difficult feelings. Set aside some time every week to talk to your child about anything that is worrying them. This can help your child feel comfortable sharing their feelings.
Ask your child what support they would like from you.
You may find it useful to create a self-soothe box to help with these conversations.
If your child finds sharing difficult, they could try:
● Writing down what they want to say before talking to you.
● Writing a letter, or sending a text message.
Learn more about how you can help your child share their worries with you.
Spend time together
Do things you both enjoy such as cooking, crafts, going for a walk or playing video games. This will help build a relationship with your child and they may feel more able to open up about how they are feeling.
Encourage them to do things that they enjoy
For example, creative activities or seeing friends. Engaging in activities that they enjoy can help boost mood but also support in getting through urges to self-harm.
Support them with their daily routine
Help them to do the daily things we need to stay healthy such as eating well, getting enough sleep and exercising. Doing these is important, as these serve as a foundation to help manage emotions.
If your child has physical injuries
It's important that they see a medical professional. They can look at the injuries and provide advice and treatment. Reassure them that the GP will not judge them, they’re there to help them get better.
If your child needs urgent medical help for their injuries go to A&E. If in doubt, call 111 for advice. In the case of an emergency call 999.
Get support
● Parent Talk - Find further information and guidance on how you can support your child who is self-harming. For advice on your specific issue, speak to one of our parenting coaches.
● You or your child can contact our emotional health and wellbeing service. We can provide them with professional support and help them develop coping skills.
● Talk to your GP. Your GP can support you and help keep your child safe. They can also direct you to the best place to get extra support.