Phobias
It’s normal to be afraid, for example, we might be afraid of the loud sound of thunder or performing in front of lots of people.
But phobias are different, as these are very strong fears of certain things or situations which do not go away. Children with phobias will feel afraid every time they see or experience the source of their fear. To cope, they might avoid the situation or thing that scares them. For example, if they have a phobia of dogs, they may avoid walking to school, in case they meet a dog walker.
What having a phobia feels like
Having a phobia is similar to having anxiety, but happens specifically when children think about or experience their feared thing or situation. It can also happen just before they experience it. They might feel:
● Nauseous
● Short of breath
● Their heart racing
● An overwhelming desire to escape the situation
● So overwhelmed that it leads to a panic attack. A panic attack can make them think something awful is going to happen. They may feel trapped or like they might lose control. Some children say that panic attacks make them feel like they can't think straight or like they might die. Having a panic attack can feel very dangerous, but it’s not life-threatening and often only last for a short while.
Help your child with a phobia
● Exposure to the phobia is one of the best ways to overcome it. Help your child create a hierarchy of situations that make them feel least scared to most scared. They may find it helpful to attempt them from the least anxiety-provoking, if they feel comfortable doing so. If they find it difficult to do this, that’s okay! Your child can be supported to do this if you get professional support.
● Help them practise deep breathing exercises by breathing slowly and deeply. This will help their body to relax.
● Suggest that they think of a safe and relaxing place such as a beach or a park, or try watching the guided relaxation video below.
● Suggest that they do something that will help them feel calm and safe. For example, listening to music, drawing, or completing a jigsaw.
● Use the 5 senses grounding technique. Help them identify something they can see, feel, hear, smell and taste. This grounding technique can help distract your child from negative thoughts by bringing their attention to the present moment
● Sit with your child and offer calm physical reassurance. If appropriate, hold their hand or give them a cuddle.
● Reassure them that the anxiety will pass and that they will be okay. It may be helpful to describe how emotions are like waves. They start small and can get higher and peak. When our emotions are at the peak it can feel overwhelming but just like a wave when anxiety is at its highest it will fall and get smaller.